Squander friends? Time is too short

The high school climate seems to change more rapidly than that of our planet. Someone can go from being a highly trusted friend to a bitter rival in as little as a day's time.

It can be tough to pick out true friends in a sea of so many people looking for recognition and acceptance wherever they can find it. How is it, then, that we can really know who our friends are in the constantly changing and ever-tense world of high school? Or, perhaps more specifically, how can we keep them?

The thing that starts most friendships is the feeling of comfort that comes from having things in common. As human beings, we stick to our comfort zones until we've established enough about ourselves to branch out. A football player might hang out with other football players, a band member with other band members, and so on.

Beyond that, we hang out with people we enjoy being around. After all, who amongst our peers is better to spend time with than people with whom we have fun?

What builds is a sense of trust and loyalty. We know we can confide in our friends, perhaps trusting them with things we wouldn't trust to anyone else. If we need help, they can be the first people to whom we turn.

Sadly, during high school, friendship can be as uncertain as anything. Plenty of teenage friendships have the capability to go up in flames.

During the past few years, I have watched friendships among my peers crumble -- not to mention some of my own. If we cannot trust the people we believe to be our friends, then who among our peers can really be trusted?

I feel the key contributor to these quarrels is change. Throughout high school, we're all growing and changing in the process to try and figure out who we are and what we're going to do with our lives.

But no two people change in exactly the same ways. And because we change differently, we might end up no longer seeing eye-to-eye with each other. Suddenly, someone who might have been fun to hang out with before has become an overworked mess who has no time anymore.

These changes can lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding. Because of the comfort we develop over time, we're not always open to change, be it in our own lives or those of the others around us.

But, like in all other aspects of life, the best way to deal with change is to adjust to it. Instead of getting angry with the way a friend has become, we should try to understand those changes and see if the friendship can be restructured around them.

If a friendship is strong enough, that can happen. If not, it's just another change we have to deal with -- and perhaps a new life lesson learned.

In the world that is high school, being a good friend doesn't come down to being perfect, because after all no one is. Instead, it's about sticking by one's friends, recognizing the fact we all change -- and cannot change each other -- and being the kind of friend one would expect someone else to be.

Is it easy to keep all friendships going well? I'd say it's not. But then again, as we have heard time and time again, life is not easy.

It's also too short to waste any time being bitter, especially toward friends.

* Andy Carroll attends La Salle High School.

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